Save The Males.

Keeping it PC.

Boy: You got a sexy look about you. What are you, indian?
Me: Nah, I'm not..
Boy: Ok ok sorry I meant Native American. That's what you people like to be called, right?

Scentual.

Guy in library (getting so close to my ear that I can not only feel the heat of his breath, but the condensation from aforementioned heat remains on my ear leaving me thoroughly disgusted): That scent you're wearing smells amazing.
Me: Thanks. It's called cocoa butter by Palmers.
 -contributed by Liz Bells

Ballin!

Basketball player: You must not know who I am.
Me: You must not know who I am.
Basketball player: I'm " ". You must not know who I am. I play ball.
Me: Ok.. I play piano. What's your point?
Basketball player: Have you ever been with a ball player before?
Me: Um.. no.
Basketball player: Well I'd like to show you something different.
Me: What are you talking about?
Basketball player: Well you say you ain't never been with a basketball player before
Me: So?
Basketball player: So maybe we can make out or something so you can see what that's like
Me: Do basketball players make out differently than regular guys or something?
Basketball player: Yeah ma
Me: You're drunk.
Basketball player: Nah I'm saying.. we get a lot of play so like, we're better at it.

It Ain't Trickin' If You Got It.

Male at store: Damn girl! Didn't I see you on tour with Beyonce?
Me: Haha no.. nope, wasn't me.
Male at store: Well here.. sir, can you ring up this rose for me? I'd like to get one for the beautiful young lady.
Cashier: Ok..your total is $25.
Male at store: Wait- how much was the rose?!

Better Never Than Late.

Text Message: Wus up girl?
Me: Hey who's this?
Text Message: Oh you don't remember me? You gave me your number at the club.
Me: Lol are you sure? I haven't given out my number  since like.. 2008.
Text Message: Yeah ma. It was summer 2008.